Naturally I feel like I need to put on this brave face and pretend everything is ok. I think we all do this to a point. Why do we feel like we need to pretend like everything is perfect? Life is NOT perfect. Life sucks sometimes. That doesn't mean I am so depressed and miserable. Sometimes life is hard. I have had a saying since I was little and I still stick by it today: "Life's tough, then you die". I don't think I ever realized how true that saying is. Life is tough sometimes. But so what? Get over it and move on. I have sat back and pretended that life is fine for far too long. Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy and blessed in my life. However I still have bad days. I have days where I need to go on a 2 hour drive so I can refocus my thought process. And frankly, that's a good thing. I think sometimes we get this mindset where we have to be happy all the time. And especially as a "Mormon" we have to be in a good, Christ-like mood. I am calling the BS on that one! So for the last week or so I have been in this weird funk. And last night I finally figured out why I have been in a funk, and hopefully how to get out of it. So work is my life. Like, if I don't have something to do at work I almost go crazy. So on Monday we had a big day. Meeting after meeting after meeting. We worked so much and were so busy that 5:30 pm was the first time we could even think about eating. We were doing a delivery for these sleazy guys who we heard weren't planning on paying us, so we had to make sure we got our money before we dropped off the furniture. It was a mess. Confrontation everywhere. Confrontation is something I can do and handle, but it gives me major anxiety that leads to stress. So I was stressed, then not eating, and being so busy we can barely breath was not a fun situation. After we a 10 hour day I finally get in my car and took off. I drove until I was lost and needed the help from the GPS. Driving is something that is so soothing for me.
I could feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I was stressed. I was at my limit. I was ready to explode. But why? Were the meetings super stressful? No. Not too bad. The money we were... does it effect my pay? Nope. Not at all. 10 hours was that extremely long for me to work? No.. about normal. So why am I stressed? Why have I had a headache for the last 4 days straight?
I am someone who gets stressed really easily, but can work the best under pressure. I live a very complex life. My job is complicated but I wouldn't trade it for the world. My boss had me write down a list of my "responsibilites" the other day. I went to Starbucks and sat down and started making my list. I quickly changed the list to "Stresses" in 20 minutes I had compiled 2 pages front and back of things that I think about on a daily basis that stress me out. Most of them are things like "Am I doing a good job?" "Am I worth my pay?" which frankly I think are good questions. And I think I should ask myself those questions every day. And I think all of us can ask ourselves these questions. So after writing down all my stresses I finally realized and came to this conclusion: Life is full of stress. My stress is different from your stress. But it's still stress. Stress sucks. It's a part of life though. It's never going to fully go away. It's something we need to learn to deal with. I just need to learn to deal with it better.
So here is my goal to myself and to whomever is crazy enough to take my advice. I propose that when I feel stressed out, to my max, ready to explode, I stop. I do as Vanilla Ice says and "Stop. Calibrate and listen" to my body. Listen to my big stress causing problems, and find a way to rectify the situation. If I can do this I think my life will be a lot easier. And hopefully less stressful. Sometimes when we are stressed, we are just so stressed out and we can't think straight and we get grumpy, and sometimes we say things we don't mean. Any by we... I mean ME! I do those things. I can be a major brat when I am super stressed. Chocolate does help the situation along with a diet coke. However chocolate and diet coke are not the best solution. I think that if I can just keep in check and write out or discuss my stresses every time I am at the breaking point it will help me tremendously!
Does anyone else have a good mediation method to deal with stress?