Saturday, March 23, 2013

Called out on Facebook.. How embarrassing!!

I have officially been called out on Facebook for my lack of blogging. I am sorry! I didn't realize that people read my blogs. I am going to be completely honest. I suck at blogging, reading blogs, etc. I normally only go online on my phone. So the blogging world is hard on my phone. I apologize to each and everyone of you if you have been disappointed in my lack of blogging. Any who I wrote a blog last week and just published it today. I always promise to be better at blogging, but frankly I suck at it. So here is the deal. I will TRY and keep my blogs up. I will do the best I can. I just hate posting pictures on here because it's just a pain for me. So get an instragram and add me. I post pictures there all the time. I guess I can give a brief update on my life, because I know y'all are on the edge of your seats dieting to know what I am up to. So here are my top 3 things of 2013 thus far:

  1. I am out of debt (minus student loans) but including my car! YAY!! Go me! $7k in less than 6 months! That's awesome and I have changed my spending habits and am a recovering shopaholic. And that's ok. I stay strong and don't spend money to bring happiness.
  2. I was "promoted" at work. Ok so work is super complicated. I don't know how to explain my job yet, but let's try. I work for a super smart and successful 33 year old man who specializes in entreprenurial arbitrage. Basically he starts his own businesses and buys in one economy and brings it to another economy for a profit. He owns and runs 8 businesses and is in a meeting right this second looking to buy into another one. PHEW! So what do I do? EVERY-THING! Seriously I am his right hand woman. I take care of everything. My title is "assistant" and he wanted to change it to "Controller" but I didn't like the sound of that because I told him he could basically call me a Bi.... ya. So I am ok with the Assistant title because it makes me sound nicer. But I seriously do everything. Mostly I just go along with him and tell him things we need to get done. But he bounces all of his business ideas off of me and together we write up our plans and next actions to grow our companies. So in some ways you could say I was like the V.P. but I am not ready to deal with that big of a title yet! 
  3. I have made friends at church. YAY! So church has been a hit and miss with me for the last few years, not because my testimony wasn't there. But simply because Mormons in Utah/ Idaho are super weird. I am sorry. I said it. Not all of them, but a big majority. They are judgmental, and don't understand how offensive some of the things they say are. So I made it a goal when I moved down here not to be offended by the stupid, ignorant things people say. I started going to church and started talking to my bishop and getting to know him and finally just told him how people piss me off sometimes. And my bishop is WAY cool! He told me to stand up for me and the other people these idiots are probably offending. I told him sometimes I am very sassy and it might come off rude. He told me to try not to be rude, but if I am sassy, I am sassy and there is nothing anyone can do about that. And then he set me up on a playdate (I wish I was kidding) with a few girls from the ward. And we became instant besties. They are such fun girls. 
So basically I am fantastic and amazing! I am super busy and have a stressful life, but it's all worth it. I am excited to be in this spot in my life that I am in and feel very blessed. And I promise that I will TRY better to be at blogging. 

Stress Stinks...

Naturally I feel like I need to put on this brave face and pretend everything is ok. I think we all do this to a point. Why do we feel like we need to pretend like everything is perfect? Life is NOT perfect. Life sucks sometimes. That doesn't mean I am so depressed and miserable. Sometimes life is hard. I have had a saying since I was little and I still stick by it today: "Life's tough, then you die". I don't think I ever realized how true that saying is. Life is tough sometimes. But so what? Get over it and move on. I have sat back and pretended that life is fine for far too long. Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy and blessed in my life. However I still have bad days. I have days where I need to go on a 2 hour drive so I can refocus my thought process. And frankly, that's a good thing. I think  sometimes we get this mindset where we have to be happy all the time. And especially as a "Mormon" we have to be in a good, Christ-like mood. I am calling the BS on that one! So for the last week or so I have been in this weird funk. And last night I finally figured out why I have been in a funk, and hopefully how to get out of it. So work is my life. Like, if I don't have something to do at work I  almost go crazy. So on Monday we had a big day. Meeting after meeting after meeting. We worked so much and were so busy that 5:30 pm was the first time we could even think about eating. We were doing a delivery for these sleazy guys who we heard weren't planning on paying us, so we had to make sure we got our money before we dropped off the furniture. It was a mess. Confrontation everywhere. Confrontation is something I can do and handle, but it gives me major anxiety that leads to stress. So I was stressed, then not eating, and being so busy we can barely breath was not a fun situation. After we a 10 hour day I finally get in my car and took off. I drove until I was lost and needed the help from the GPS. Driving is something that is so soothing for me.

I could feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. I was stressed. I was at my limit. I was ready to explode. But why? Were the meetings super stressful? No. Not too bad. The money we were... does it effect my pay? Nope. Not at all. 10 hours was that extremely long for me to work? No.. about normal. So why am I stressed? Why have I had a headache for the last 4 days straight?

I am someone who gets stressed really easily, but can work the best under pressure. I live a very complex life. My job is complicated but I wouldn't trade it for the world. My boss had me write down a list of my "responsibilites" the other day. I went to Starbucks and sat down and started making my list. I quickly changed the list to "Stresses" in 20 minutes I had compiled 2 pages front and back of things that I think about on a daily basis that stress me out. Most of them are things like "Am I doing a good job?" "Am I worth my pay?" which frankly I think are good questions. And I think I should ask myself those questions every day. And I think all of us can ask ourselves these questions. So after writing down all my stresses I finally realized and came to this conclusion: Life is full of stress. My stress is different from your stress. But it's still stress. Stress sucks. It's a part of life though. It's never going to fully go away. It's something we need to learn to deal with. I just need to learn to deal with it better.

So here is my goal to myself and to whomever is crazy enough to take my advice. I propose that when I feel stressed out, to my max, ready to explode, I stop. I do as Vanilla Ice says and "Stop. Calibrate and listen" to my body. Listen to my big stress causing problems, and find a way to rectify the situation. If I can do this I think my life will be a lot easier. And hopefully less stressful. Sometimes when we are stressed, we are just so stressed out and we can't think straight and we get grumpy, and sometimes we say things we don't mean. Any by we... I mean ME! I do those things. I can be a major brat when I am super stressed. Chocolate does help the situation along with a diet coke. However chocolate and diet coke are not the best solution. I think that if I can just keep in check and write out or discuss my stresses every time I am at the breaking point it will help me tremendously!

Does anyone else have a good mediation method to deal with stress?